Office Humor

From FlameStorm.com

Changes in Company Policies

* Dress Code: It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume that you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

* Sick Days: We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

* Personal Days: Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.

* Bereavement Leave: This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives, or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

* Restroom Breaks: Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of 3 minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders" category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.

* Lunch Breaks: Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation, and input should be directed elsewhere.

We've moved to a dedicated server

About 3 weeks ago we moved to a Dedicated server. The website is running blazing quick. It's very fast. CBCJobs.com loading time is about 0.8 seconds, according to Vertrain Software's website. Compare this with Monster's 6.84 seconds, Dice's 7.92 and CareerBuilder's 3.84 seconds.

Major Bug Fixed

We finally fixed the white spaces bug. The job descriptions and resumes were not appearing correctly on IE 6 and 7. Since our offices only used Firefox and IE 8 (please don't d/l it, it's full of bugs). By accident, we tested the website out of another office in which a computer was running IE 7. The pages were not displaying white spaces and instead were displaying everything, including job descriptions, company descriptions and resumes, in one continuous line. All has been fixed now and pages appear correctly on IE 6, 7, 8 and Firefox.

Next Project

Oh yes, our next project is accepting the .docx files for resumes...and lol Murphy's law, as soon as we do that, Microsoft will come out with Word '09 or something with a completely new format....

Recording data...

It is important to preserve the formatting of all documents, be it when an employer pastes a job description from Word or when a resume is uploaded or pasted. This module underwent a major rehaul, as there were problems with the data not being formatted correctly. This is all fixed. The website used to change whitespaces into
's, well thankfully, we got rid of that backwards method and now all the whitespaces are simply preserved and then displayed back on the screen.

It's funny, the website is over a year old and we are still working out the bugs. But it's fun to get those little buggers out:)

Metro Areas by Date

Worked a bit more on the Metro Areas and fixed it so that it now lists them by Date (newest to oldest) and only one job listing per date. The next project is installing a module to accept Microsoft Word 2007 .docx files. Microsoft completely changed its format for 2007, now its a form of XML file, so needs a different conversion process to read it.

Site traffic is growing

Our site traffic is growing. Monday and Tuesday are usually busiest days, while Saturday is the slowest...hmmm we wonder why? Do people not like to do anything on Saturdays? :) Here are the Compete Statistics. They are a bit lower than actual stats, but as you can see they are growing. This is virtually with no advertising, it's all word of mouth viral marketing.

Metro Areas Improved

Metro Areas have been improved. Now the site displays all job categories and how many jobs in each categories vs the old way where it was just a search with the center zip and a mile radius. But since the job categories were changed, not all the jobs have the correct categories, therefore the categories are currently off. All the new jobs will have the correct categories.

Now what we have to do is define counties for all Metro Areas. So far we've done the first few including Orange County and Los Angeles, working on rest...